Maria Mercedes Lara's Name Is Too Long

What's your take on the Olivia Munn/Daily Show/Lady blogging-gate? (Also: welcome back to tumblr!)

Sat, 10 Jul 2010 10:07:35 -0400

Thanks! I figured it was time for my monthly Tumblr post.

As for the Jezebel/ladyblog/Daily Show kerfuffle: I honestly haven’t been following it that closely. I’ve really only read a few posts that old Jezebel people have linked to on Twitter. It just seems weird to me that a post that was about women in comedy turned into a blog war about who is a Real Feminist and who is a Real Journalist and blah blah blah. Well, that doesn’t seem weird to me since stretching outrage to the point where the original source of outrage is completely forgotten is what makes the internet such a wonderful/horrible place.

And now I present to you a photo of a male fan braiding Olivia...

Thu, 08 Jul 2010 19:11:32 -0400

And now I present to you a photo of a male fan braiding Olivia Munn’s hair at a book signing for her new book, Suck It, Wonder Woman.

"So I wrote what I know, or rather what I’ve learned, which could be summed up this way: when the..."

Tue, 18 May 2010 18:40:00 -0400

“So I wrote what I know, or rather what I’ve learned, which could be summed up this way: when the Internet forced journalism to compete economically after years of monopoly, journalism panicked and adopted some of the worst examples of the nothing-based economy, in which success depends on the continued infantilization of both supply and demand. At the same time, journalism clung to its myths of objectivity and detachment, using them to dismiss the emerging blogger threat as something unserious and fundamentally parasitic, even as it produced a steady stream of obsessive but sneering trend stories on the blogosphere.”

- If you haven’t read Moe/Maureen Tkacik’s wonderful “Look at Me!” piece in the Columbia Journalism Review, I strongly suggest that you take 20 minutes out of your day and read the whole thing.

julieklausner: Saturday’s only sketch starring Fey across from...

Mon, 12 Apr 2010 15:01:52 -0400

julieklausner:

Saturday’s only sketch starring Fey across from another female lead — Nasim Pedrad as a nerdy tween overly-attached to her mother — wound up being the funniest of the night. Behold: no hooker wigs, no blog headline-worthy quips, à la “That’s So Palin,” and no “is she or isn’t she being ironic about the crying at home into a pint of Ben & Jerry’s” thing. This scene is my favorite because Nasim killed it, and Tina let her.

Definitely the best sketch of the night. “Hey where’d those pores go?”

I hate emails from publicists.

Tue, 06 Apr 2010 09:22:41 -0400

I hate emails from publicists.

Foursquare has only one true use: giving you something to do...

Wed, 31 Mar 2010 19:18:55 -0400

Foursquare has only one true use: giving you something to do while you wait for your friends to arrive at a bar.

Oh hey friends! Did I mention that I got a new job? I am now the AM News Editor at Celebuzz, so come...

Tue, 16 Mar 2010 11:55:16 -0400

Oh hey friends!

Did I mention that I got a new job? I am now the AM News Editor at Celebuzz, so come over and hang out with me over there! Also: I am probably going to be MIA from Tumblr for awhile. Blogging is hard.

Won’t You Be My Emo Boyfriend? Makeout Club...

Thu, 11 Mar 2010 23:44:03 -0500

Won’t You Be My Emo Boyfriend?

Makeout Club Profile:

Username: xsassycorex

Interests: hardcore music, veganism, “politics” and sXe

Favorite bands: Three Mile Pilot, Saetia, The Locust, Creation is Crucifixion and Q and Not U (for the upcoming indie music phase).

Who I’m Looking For: A sXe boy who is willing to cuddle and is interested in lecturing girls about music, “politics” and lifestyle choices and why his personal choices are “the right” choices in all of these regards. Also, rudimentary interest in philosophy, but nothing beyond of Nietzsche. Prefers someone with a tattoo they will regret in three years.

I love reading the hashtag trending topics on Twitter, mostly...

Wed, 10 Mar 2010 16:32:00 -0500

I love reading the hashtag trending topics on Twitter, mostly because the Tweets people post really help me keep up on my teenage slang. This Twitter user has given me quite the glimpse into the current adolescent lexicon just by listing off reasons “why u single.” The term “jump off” has taken a strange new meaning since I remember last using it (sometime between 1997 and 2000, probably in front of a Contempo Casuals) and new terms such as “yamp” and “sluther” appear to be of-the-moment word conglomerations that will probably never really catch on outside of whatever collection of middle schools they were invented in (the term “sluther” reveals its short-lived slang status in its misinterpreted meaning that resulted in it being defined as being both “a female willing to do anything sexually” and “a general term for a female” in the very same definition! Going forward, I will be using this term for a “slutty Truther,” which I think might make more sense). However, MissMakaylaLove has just introduced me to a golden new slang term: “bath-waterless bitch.” Obviously, this is the jackpot and I want to start using this delightful term ASAP but this piece of slang has yet to be defined on Urban Dictionary, so I have the guess the meaning. So far, I’m thinking it has something to do with not being hot enough for someone to want to “drink your bath water,” a phrase I always found confusing. However, there are so many better ways to call someone “not hot,” so maybe that isn’t it.

Can anyone help me out?

Love is...

Fri, 26 Feb 2010 15:35:48 -0500

Doing your horrible Claire Littleton impression (“I WANT MY BAY-BEE! A DINGO ATE MY BAY-BEE!”) roughly fifty times every Tuesday evening before Lost airs and having your boyfriend smile and say without a hint of annoyance or sarcasm, “you’re so good at impressions!”

daveholmes: OPPOSITE OF FANTASTIC. Beard-vertising at CPAC:...

Sat, 20 Feb 2010 11:13:26 -0500

daveholmes:

OPPOSITE OF FANTASTIC.

Beard-vertising at CPAC: The only way for a conservative gal to get a date these days.

Well look at what I bought at the bookstore the other day! Go...

Wed, 17 Feb 2010 13:56:12 -0500

Well look at what I bought at the bookstore the other day!

Go buy this book. Now.

The only people who care enough to comment on my blog are strangers who google themselves and...

Sun, 31 Jan 2010 23:57:28 -0500

The only people who care enough to comment on my blog are strangers who google themselves and somehow end up on a random post I wrote from three years ago.

was england justifiable in interfering between egypt and the soudan rebels in the urabi revolt?

Sat, 30 Jan 2010 10:23:27 -0500

I know why you would want to ask me a question like this, Mr. Bag. I’ve often been told that reading through my blog gives people the impression that I am some sort of expert on 19th-century English-Egyptian relations. Unfortunately, I have almost no knowledge in that era of history, but since lacking knowledge on a subject has never stopped a person writing on the internet from having an opinion about something, I’ll do my best to continue the great bloggy tradition and form a quick, glib judgment after hastily reading a wikipedia entry on the urabi revolt.

So, to answer your question: hell no.

I feel like I don't update this blog enough

Fri, 29 Jan 2010 11:17:47 -0500

But instead of creating my own content (read: taking screenshots of things on the internet that are only funny to me) I will make you, the reader, do my work for me.

Ask me anything.

"‘He did a lot of hand work,’ said Trichon, praising his ‘straight fingers, perfect..."

Wed, 27 Jan 2010 11:58:00 -0500

“‘He did a lot of hand work,’ said Trichon, praising his ‘straight fingers, perfect nails’ and ability to ‘hold things correctly.’”

- Model agent Maggie Trichon recalling her days of representing Scott Brown. (via Wonkette)

I'm the hardest-working investigative hair journalist in Brooklyn

Wed, 20 Jan 2010 10:00:39 -0500

I'm the hardest-working investigative hair journalist in Brooklyn

Questions For Our Times

Tue, 12 Jan 2010 21:04:25 -0500

Which is correct: “dilly daddling” or “diddle daddling?”

What are you working on right now? I miss talking with you.

Thu, 07 Jan 2010 12:46:44 -0500

I miss talking with you too!

I’m still working at the Gap and I’m working on getting my new website and copywriting portfolio up, hopefully by the end of this month. After that, I plan on emailing/calling every single ad agency in New York looking for internships. If for some reason that doesn’t work out I will probably just start a Tumblr filled with pictures of dumb Facebook ads and then get a modest book deal from one of those publishers that specializes in blog-to-books-that-end-up-in-the-gag-gift-sections-of-Urban-Outfitters and then live off that money until I run away to go live on a farm.

But, you know, that probably won’t happen. I’m optimistic!

I never met an internet fad I didn't like

Thu, 07 Jan 2010 09:18:01 -0500

I never met an internet fad I didn't like