Maria Not Marie

Wherein I get a $10 Beauty School Haircut

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 19:01:41 -0500

Wherein I get a $10 Beauty School Haircut:

I was better off letting my mother cut my hair with her circa 1989 “Super Haircutters” trimming set while we stand on the patio in our backyard and my brother snickers at me.

Why do I do these things to myself?

Feeling judged.

Sun, 01 Nov 2009 11:25:14 -0500

Feeling judged.

Gagvertising. (via Lamebook)

Wed, 14 Oct 2009 15:26:37 -0400

Gagvertising. (via Lamebook)

This is what I am going as for Halloween. (Artist’s...

Tue, 06 Oct 2009 13:19:59 -0400

This is what I am going as for Halloween. (Artist’s rendition.)

The “penis” sign is optional but I will most likely be carrying around with me anyways to avoid the embarrassment of running into another girl dressed up in a banana costume in New York.

(If you are reading this and are wondering what a banana holding a “penis” sign is then you are a better person than I am and probably are fully employed at a nice job that keeps you from getting bored and looking at internet memes all day.)

A Reminder

Fri, 02 Oct 2009 13:44:54 -0400

Pickle Fest is on Sunday.

The greatest PSA against chewing tobacco that I’ve ever...

Fri, 25 Sep 2009 16:48:55 -0400

The greatest PSA against chewing tobacco that I’ve ever seen. (via Wonkette)

GPOYW- Commes les francais. (Co-starring Edith, the butternut...

Wed, 23 Sep 2009 22:11:23 -0400

GPOYW- Commes les francais.

(Co-starring Edith, the butternut squash.)

I put some new items in my Etsy store. Click the image above to...

Fri, 18 Sep 2009 17:09:23 -0400

I put some new items in my Etsy store. Click the image above to go to my store or go to the “Etsy” link on the left of my Tumblr page.

Oh yeah: Tumblr readers get a special *secret* gift if they order an item. If you want the special *secret* gift, just email or message me on Etsy and tell me what item you are buying. This offer expires never!

(The following took place as I was watching this video of Taylor Swift on The View.) Ben:...

Tue, 15 Sep 2009 13:16:06 -0400

(The following took place as I was watching this video of Taylor Swift on The View.)

Ben: What’s that about?

Me: Seriously? You haven’t heard about the Taylor Swift-Kanye West thing?

Ben: I saw Kanye West’s name on the internet a lot yesterday, does this have something to do with that?

In A Strange Twist Of Fate I Sorta Come To Tila Tequlia's Defense In The Whole Domestic Violence Thing

Wed, 09 Sep 2009 11:00:54 -0400

In A Strange Twist Of Fate I Sorta Come To Tila Tequlia's Defense In The Whole Domestic Violence Thing:

But only because I don’t think our immediate reaction should be that she is to blame for being an alien from the planet Stripper Pole or that she is a lying about being abused because she said she had a fake alcohol-related disease. Apparently, some people think that women who are intoxicated cannot be abused by their significant others! I read it in the ~~Harvard Law Review~~ comment section of TMZ.

Over a rather dull Labor Day weekend, Danny DeVito not only got...

Tue, 08 Sep 2009 13:26:03 -0400

Over a rather dull Labor Day weekend, Danny DeVito not only got himself a Twitter account, he also “took back” (his words) his Facebook fan page.

Sure, ha ha, here is another crazy old-ish celebrity using the internet. Twitter? Facebook? But those are only things we youngs know how to use! Here’s the thing with Danny DeVito: he is just as bored as the rest of us. Sure he has the fame and fortune that allows him to sit shirtless and unashamed in front of what is probably his family’s “communal” computer located in a plushly decorated living room which is accented by a tastefully over-sized white marble fireplace, but does that mean that his life is an express bus to Party Town? No. Danny DeVito is old, his kids probably don’t return his hourly emails and I imagine his life gets pretty dull in between stops at Whole Foods to pick up flax meal for his wife and drunk appearances on morning chat shows. He is so bored he didn’t even bother to go grab a shirt to put on before he started taking Twitter photos and making videos for his fan page. He was simply so excited about communicating with his (again, many) fans that he couldn’t even take a moment to wonder if people might think it was odd for him to be appearing topless on the internet.

All I am saying is, give Danny DeVito a break, internet.

For The Record

Mon, 31 Aug 2009 09:11:44 -0400

I don’t speak Spanish.

Now stop assuming that I do.

Sasha Pivovarova as Liza Minnelli in this month’s Paris...

Thu, 27 Aug 2009 16:47:03 -0400

Sasha Pivovarova as Liza Minnelli in this month’s Paris Vogue. Yes!

(via Cat Party)

inothernews: suitep: Heh. The bottom photo doesn’t need...

Wed, 26 Aug 2009 20:35:10 -0400

inothernews:

suitep:

Heh.

The bottom photo doesn’t need context or captions, it is already teaching you everything you need to know about life.

Goodbye productivity!

Mon, 24 Aug 2009 11:37:17 -0400

Goodbye productivity!

An ad for ugh. (via PSP)

Sun, 23 Aug 2009 19:16:53 -0400

An ad for ugh. (via PSP)

I "sat" in the audience on an MTV show yesterday

Fri, 21 Aug 2009 09:20:24 -0400

I "sat" in the audience on an MTV show yesterday:

I feel really old. And also confused by how much TV shows are trying to use social media during their shows to force a connection with their audience.

I’m having a super mega sale on my Etsy. Most items 50%...

Mon, 17 Aug 2009 11:54:51 -0400

I’m having a super mega sale on my Etsy. Most items 50% off! Everything must go go go!

I will be adding some new grunge and Fall items soon, but I’m not in the mood to take photos right now. Does anyone have any requests for vintage clothes they would like to see in my store?

Overheard in New York

Sun, 16 Aug 2009 08:30:53 -0400

“She’s gross, she eats Tasti-D-Lite.”

I Might Be Losing My Mind

Fri, 14 Aug 2009 09:54:28 -0400

I have a really irrational pet peeve.

I hate it when people don’t move up when waiting in a line. I particularly hate this when the line is long and poorly defined so the non-movement of the line causes greater confusion for people approaching the line.

The epicenter of this behavior appears to be the Bank of America location at Union Square in New York City.